Wednesday, 23 January 2008

What I have so far, any tips?

Made a few changes to the wording and the story. Had a NAB recently and so didnt have much time to be working on this sadly. This is what i have so far.

He shivered violently as the freezing winter water ran down his back. Looking behind him, he noticed he hadn't really covered much ground. Snow was everywhere and the trees of the forest that surrounded him where whispering quietly. A car passed and made fresh tracks in the white dust so that he could see the black of the Tarmac. The boy continued walking, preoccupied with his own thoughts. He didn't notice as a car pulled up beside him and he didn't notice as the driver rolled down the window, however he did notice when the driver shouted at the top of his lungs "Hey mister! You need a lift?" In fact he gave a startled cry. 'Yeah, sure.' he replied. He dived into the car escaping from the cold and very wet day. Although it didn't seem like it, he had been desperate for someone to stop and offer him a lift, However he was to nervous to stick out his thumb. He was afraid that some weirdo would pick him up. 'What's your name and where are you headed?' asked the driver.
'W-w-w-Wendell, W-Wendell Dawson and I'm going to, Eh-eh- Edinburgh.'
'Got a slight stutter there Mac. That's a long way to be travelling mister and i can't even take you half the distance, I'm just headed past Carlisle myself. Why the heck are you hitching all the way to Edinburgh from here?' The car gave a slight lurch as it set off.
'It's a long story.' sighed Wendell
'well c'mon son i got time, and i am pretty sure you do to.' Smiled the driver 'My name's Carl, Carl Farbrook.' The Yankee accent that the had was extremely annoying.
'Well thanks C-c-Carl for the lift, it really does help.'
'Not a bother.' Carl replied still smiling. Wendell looked out of the window for a while taking in the scenery of the countryside. It was extremely boring. Flat white everywhere, it had absolutely no character whatsoever. He had dosed of when Carl started to speak again. 'So you know of any good jokes? I have a few good ones, would you like to here them?'
Wendell could tell he was just trying to get a conversation going and he felt like ripping his tongue out and slapping him with it for waking him up however just to be polite. 'Yeah, sure...'
'Right, okay then.' luckily he never got to hear the joke, at that moment he ran over a pheasant and after swearing loudly he concentrated on the road. He stayed silent for a while.

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